Author: Dolisha DeVonne

He changes like the leaves

Turns as cold as the wind

No longer my gentle, warm love

Just frost and air beneath my skin

His kisses are as cold as ice

His touch no longer heats me

The words that once my heart

Disappear and no longer greet me

He is like the month of November

The coolness and dryness of a coming winter

No longer my gentle, warm love,

No longer my angel from above

Just another cold chapter of an unhappily ever after

No longer the kind love of so much laughter

Just another cold day with no warmth for shelter

The emptiness and sorrow of a cold November

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They tell me not to worry about my future

Leave everything to chance

If it happens it’s meant to me, if not, it must not have been God’s plan

But every second of day

I find myself daydreaming away

Creating visions and “impossible” goals

Trying to fit together the pieces of my soul

I try and tried again to make my vision come to light

I’ve been laughed at, discouraged along the way, and sometimes lost the fight

But still, for some reason, I can’t stop dreaming

And this desire in my soul is telling me to keep reaching

I don’t know how long it’ll take me to make it there,

How many more times I have to fall,

But as long as this fire burns, I can’t sit still at all

Can’t afford to put my dreams in a box and let it sit

I know God wants better for me than this.

I’ve also come to realize that one thing consistent in life is change.

It comes whether you want it to or not, and once it passes life’s never the same.

Like the waves of the deepest, bluest ocean,

Life is designed to remain in motion,

And whether you ever learn the embrace your whole truth or not,

Time will never stop.

Some folks claim to really know God

The pastors, the preacher man, the priest in synagogues

They use the Bible as a weapon to strike down the unjust

Proclaiming one day the world will burn with fire, and we’ll all be turned to dust

Trying to persuade me to believe ALL things they say are true

But my mama once taught me that the devil knows the Bible too

So instead of believing in man I choose to believe in Christ instead

And it ain’t my job to save mankind, just those who want His helping hand

Some people make God out to be some type of monster

Who will strike down and kill us all

With no mercy, no understanding, no willingness to hear us at all

But in my heart Christ has always been a merciful man

Who forgave a murderer before his took his last breathe and died right beside Him

Oh trust me, there will be hell to pay for those who choose to cross Him

That shed innocent blood, used his name in vain, and doubt Him

As for me, I can’t say that I’m a guarantee “shoe-in” for heaven

But while I’m here, I acknowledge him. I just pray that I get to heaven.

But I’ve never been seamless in character and occasionally I do get scared

I worry when I’m not supposed to, and sometimes gave into fear

I mess up all the time and even cursed out of frustration

Had some bad behavior and fell into temptation

And still have the nerve to walk in church on Sunday morning

Singing “Hallelujah, Praise Jesus!” like my life is just so perfect,

I bet God looks at me sometimes and shakes his head

Saying, “What kind of child did I create there?”

Well Lord, I guess I’m the definition of an unperfected Christian

That prays you love me anyway, and sees my heart and not my horrible decisions

I would love to tell you that I will never do it again

But you and I both know I’d be lying

With that being said, I now have a message for all you preachers and spiritual souls,

You God-loving church folk, and the “sometimes-I-go-to-church” individuals,

You may not realize, but your closest thing to a Bible that most people will ever read

And if you call yourself a Christian don’t be so quick to judge me

Cause I’m pretty sure that if I opened your closet, some skeletons will surely fall out

And you’ll be standing there dumbfound, trying to justify it, or lie your way out

So instead of the unnecessary back and forth on whose right and what’s wrong

Let us just agree that we’re both some messed up souls

But together we can unite and find more unworthy Christians

And teach them that God loves them too, and how easier life will be if we follow by His submission.