Author: Dolisha DeVonne

By: Dolisha DeVonne

Doors I thought were closed, turn out to have had small cracks and creeks 
Sometimes issues I thought were done, come back to haunt me, 
Since I am a survivor at best, I’ve learned to take heed to all signs & warnings, 
And only wise fools ignore advice for growing

But to start will mean finally confessing what I work to conceal, 
Revealing myself to myself, acknowledging what I feel, 
Organizing my thoughts from, “this is not right” to “fuck it, this how I feel”
Peeling back my pieces, 
Being okay with what I reveal. 

Losing pieces of my heart, taught me time was not for bargain, 
How long will being delirious, keep my heart darken?
So I’m talking. 

To God,
To Myself. 

Not caring for fake validation, impressions, hand claps, and recognition
Just so I can close my eyes at night,
In peaceful rendition 

So let’s talk, 
Reflection to Face. What makes me scared? What hardships I face?
What makes me cry?
Fight with all ambition?
Let’s look at ME…
FINALLY…
Let’s create some self-discipline

Even when being vulnerable is a misunderstood ideology
And that “try to save everyone” mentality has to die inside me
Cause then, what energy would I have left over to save myself? 
Constantly reaching out my hand for someone to grab it, and no one’s left. 

So excuse me,
Pardon.
As dotingly seclude myself,
And finally introduce Dolisha to herself.

When we’re together, I need moments for time to stand still,

Nothing seems to matter more than us holding each other at will

Feeling trembles that electrify

Run down my neck and spine

So fine!–I’ve come to find,

How amazingly this love refines

Sweet chocolate skin that blends so well with mine,

Communicating in expressions our love language defines,

My usual, reserved nature, replaced with animalistic ego,

How far we climb to reach this peak, only we know,

Becoming each other’s sole, sensual, source of gratification,

Yelling words and phrases, as if we are finding salvation,

Becoming witness to an explosive feeling,

Affiliated in our physical and spiritual healing,

Touching sweet spots that melt when hot,

Savoring this span of time, until exhaustion makes us drop.

Dolisha DeVonne

They tell me not to worry about my future

Leave everything to chance

If it happens it’s meant to me, if not, it must not have been God’s plan

But every second of day

I find myself daydreaming away

Creating visions and “impossible” goals

Trying to fit together the pieces of my soul

I try and tried again to make my vision come to light

I’ve been laughed at, discouraged along the way, and sometimes lost the fight

But still, for some reason, I can’t stop dreaming

And this desire in my soul is telling me to keep reaching

I don’t know how long it’ll take me to make it there,

How many more times I have to fall,

But as long as this fire burns, I can’t sit still at all

Can’t afford to put my dreams in a box and let it sit

I know God wants better for me than this.

I’ve also come to realize that one thing consistent in life is change.

It comes whether you want it to or not, and once it passes life’s never the same.

Like the waves of the deepest, bluest ocean,

Life is designed to remain in motion,

And whether you ever learn the embrace your whole truth or not,

Time will never stop.